Sometimes, I found myself moping over things I did not have. For instance, I had no car, and I had no computer in the beginning. Though I knew that it was only temporary, not having a car made me feel restrained, and not having a computer made me feel cut off from the world, with no outlet for my creativity.
It was only after engaging in deep thought (I had plenty of time to think) that I accepted that God wanted me to sit down, be still and shut up for a while – probably for a reason.
I had lessons to learn.
Two days before payday, I had no sugar for my tea, and I was tired of using lemon water enhancer to flavor my tea. The way I saw it, if I wanted lemonaide, I’d have bought lemonaide. But, I drank it as gratefully as I could, remembering the Israelites when they were in the wilderness with nothing but manna to eat for months on end. I did not want to suffer forty days more (let alone forty years), so I made due.
Finally, I remembered that I had some Sweet-n-low in the cabinet, and although I hate the aftertaste of Sweet-n-Low, I knew I would welcome the change of pace. I went to the cabinet to search for it. As I was reaching up to get it, I spotted another small bag of just enough sugar packets that I didn’t know I had to make me a delicious glass of sweet tea.
As I sat there enjoying my sweet tea, I began thinking about what the phrase “Seek ye first” meant. I hated the lemon enhancer, but I thanked God for it, because He gave it to me -- literally. I had found it in an unclaimed bag (along with some candy and oatmeal that I enjoyed) at the bus stop one day at WalMart. It obviously had accidentally been left there by someone who was not returning to get it. I hated Sweet-n-low, too. But, I even welcomed that, because God loves a thankful heart.
Psalms 100:4
“Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.”
When I found the sugar packets, I pictured God smiling at me, shaking a pointing finger at me and saying, “See. Sometimes what you really want is right there. You just have to learn to be content and accepting of what you have, and you will find what you need.”
“Thanks for the lesson,” I humbly thought, as I took another, even more grateful, sip of sweet tea, a beverage that I immensely enjoyed on a daily basis.
Not having a car or a computer was no longer on my mind at that moment; and, I knew I could make it, even with Sweet-n-Low, until payday.
Psalms 27:14
“Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.”
The biggest thing I had missed in my last relationship was my relationship with God. Now, this relationship was renewed and growing; but, I felt that I was not being used to my fullest potential by God. I wanted God to use me to do His work as much as He made me able, and I prayed for that daily.
I didn’t have much money, but for the first time in a long time, I didn’t worry about how I was going to pay my rent. My new job was working out great, and I was saving up for a computer.
A couple of my old friends and classmates that I hooked up with on social media brought me some badly needed clothes, shoes, a bed, a couch, an armoire, and food. I felt like it was Christmas all over again, but this time, the gifts came from God -- and, boy was I grateful!
It’s like He wouldn’t let up. Every day was a new reason to praise Him, and even if it was just an ordinary day, it was reason enough, so I did! Just over a month into my new single life, I found myself happier than I had ever been in my life! I wanted to share it with the world!
I remembered a Bible study I had done with my church, “Experiencing God”. In it I had learned to look for opportunities to serve God, rather than wait for the opportunities to come to me. The study taught that we were to go to where God is already working and join Him in His work.
Luke 6:38
“Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.”
I didn’t have a way to go to church every Sunday, but I sure wished I could. I prayed for God to fix that. In the meanwhile, I looked for the lessons God had to teach me right where I was. I rode a bus to work each day, and anywhere else I wanted to go. My daily commute was about an hour and a half one way. I learned to carry my Bible onto the bus with me to read each day.
My relationship with my mom was growing, also. If I needed to go grocery shopping, or anyplace special, she was happy to take me. Sometimes, she even talked me into going to her house to spend the night with her and visit. They lived about twenty miles away, so this was not something I could do often. I praised God for this relationship, because my ex had isolated me from my family.
One day I told God how much I appreciated Him, and I prayed that He would give me the opportunity to thank Him by making me able to bless someone else with what I have.
On my day off, I had just enough to treat myself to dinner at a local Chinese restaurant, and I thought I would. I was on my way to the restaurant, prepared to spend $10.65 for the usual cost of the buffet. A guy got on the bus, on his way to the plasma lab. He had to borrow the bus fare from someone when he had misplaced his ticket. He had backpacks. I listened as he said he had just come to Texarkana to get away from an emotionally charged divorce, in which he had lost everything.
I ask him if he had a place to stay. He said he hoped the plasma lab could help him with the money for that. I thought, what if he gets there and they can’t help him? I gave him $1.25 for bus fare from the lab, and said ''just in case it dont work out at the lab.'' Then I proceeded to tell him (having had been homeless before and knowing the ropes a little) how to get a warm place to sleep, where he could eat every day, how to get free bus passes, and get day-labor work.
When it came time for him to get off the bus, he thanked me with tears in his eyes and relief on his face. I didn't have much, but information, in his situation, was priceless.
I went to eat. After eating until i thought i would bust, I went to pay my bill. It was $9.30. That was cheaper than the usual $10.65 I was prepared to pay.
It was as if God said, "Hope you enjoyed your meal. Here is $1.25 you gave to that guy, and I even threw in an extra dime for your valuable 10 cents worth you gave to him."
How blessed I felt right then! God used my experience, when I had nothing more to give, to help someone in need. I felt the hand of God on my back as I smiled through my tears at such a small communication with Him! I thanked God for answering my prayer.
I also learned that I did not have to have money to serve God. He doesn't call the qualified. He qualifies the called!
I thanked God each day with every room I cleaned. There is nothing like working in a hospital to make you realize how blessed you truly are.
I bought my computer from a local pawn shop for just $150, which was way cheaper than what I was used to. When I got it home, I figured out that it had belonged to someone who was in the military, which made me feel good about it. I knew it had been taken good care of, even though the camera on it had been disabled.
I bought a mobile router and spent a lot of time online on social media and researching news. I did not own a television, and my radio stayed on Christian talk radio for daily encouragement.
I began to eat lunch at the hospital. It usually filled me up so I wouldn’t be hungry when I came home to Ramen Noodles TM or pancakes. It was clearly time to get some groceries. But, groceries would have to wait until after rent was paid on my next paycheck. In the meanwhile, my budget allowed $25.00 for groceries at home every two weeks, and lunch at the hospital each day.
I began to pray and make out my grocery list.
On the day before payday, during the first week in March, I went to a local fast food place just down the road from my home to use their WiFi. I decided to buy a burger, thinking I had enough on my debit card to do so. When I ran my debit card, I was short the money I needed to buy the burger of my choice. So, I downgraded to a cheaper burger. At this point, a lady in line behind me said,
“Let me buy that burger.”
I immediately said, “No! I can pay for it, really!”
She smiled and said, “Yes. It’s no big deal, really!”
I smiled back and said, “Thank you for being a blessing! And, tomorrow, when I get paid, I will pay it forward.” I felt humbled that someone would do something like that for me when I hadn’t even asked for it. I also felt like God was pushing me to have the excuse to buy a burger for someone else, as if I needed one.
As if to confirm my thoughts, the lady answered with, “Jesus told me to buy you that burger, so you do that.”
I smiled all the way home. God, once again, thought me worthy enough to speak to me.
The next payday came, and after paying rent, groceries, bus fare for the month and cab fare for the day the buses don’t run, I didn’t have enough to renew my internet data. I thanked God for local fast food restaurant that offered free WiFi that day...even though it wasn’t my favorite restaurant. Keeping my mind and heart open to God’s will, I assumed that there must be something there that God wanted me to see, or experience. So, I humbly accepted the circumstances, and waited until my next day off so I could go and enjoy some internet time on the computer.
A few days after that, I was at the restaurant downloading a game on the computer to keep me busy waiting. My neighbor (about 4 doors down) called me. She was moving. Her boyfriend was in jail for awhile, and she had no job and couldn’t pay the rent. So, she decided she needed to stay with her parents for awhile. She wanted to know if I would bring her a burger, and if I wanted any of the furniture that she was willing to give me so she wouldn’t have to haul it to storage.
I obtained two end tables and an entertainment table, some nice blouses, food staples she didn’t want to throw away, a bicycle, some speakers for my computer, and a few things my ex gave to her without my permission. God truly blessed me!
The next week, a girl who worked in the cafeteria at the hospital asked me if I wanted some recliners, a kitchen table and maybe a television. I said sure! If I couldn’t use them, I knew there would be others who could. God was making me look good. He was providing for all my needs and shaping my environment. Only God could have pulled off me being blessed with all new furniture for FREE! However, I kept wondering why? What is it that God has in plan for me that requires me to have new furniture? Or, is God trying to show me that nothing I have is truly mine, and that without Him I would have nothing? I determined to keep my heart and mind open for any opportunity for God to use me.
She never showed up with my new furniture. So, I didn't get rid of my tattered old couch, stained chair and worn kitchen table. Later, I would find out why.
As a parent, I suffered from the guilt of knowing that should I die today, it would place a burden on my children, and I had nothing to leave them as an inheritance – but God. I prayed that God would sustain me, and that He may help me to have just enough, at least, to leave my children by the time I am called home so that they would not be burdened financially by my passing.
As I stated earlier, I had created a list of, “Things I’m asking God For.” On this list, if I needed nail clippers, I asked God for it. Having a car was on that list, also. Big things, small things (even if it was shampoo, because I was running out), I asked God. God, I reasoned, is the Great Provider of all things, and asking him for shampoo was just as significant to Him as asking for a car. Whether I got one or the other, I felt it would be God’s will for me to have them – or I wouldn’t have them at all.
I numbered each thing I asked for since January 1st. The list was sporting about 75 items. Of those items asked for, I was delighted and thankful that only 22 of those items have not been given to me, yet. God is not only the Great Provider, He is also the great Hearer of Prayer and Deliverer.
A man came to my job to offer life and heart-health insurance. I went ahead and signed up for it. It would help alleviate any costs that may incur should anything happen to me. It helped to relieve my guilt of the burden that would be placed on my children should something happen to me. And, for less than $50/month, I felt it would be worth it in the long run. This was an answer to my prayer.
The payday finally came, during the third week of March, that I was able to buy enough groceries to fill my pantry and have money left over. This, too me, was a major victory. My mom took me grocery shopping and then brought me home after work. I felt so secure and relaxed seeing that I was not going to be struggling during the next month.
During this same week, I received a phone call from an old friend who’s family was going through some trials. Her husband was away and unable to help, and she was facing a possible eviction from her home, so I offered to let her stay with me until her husband could return home to help. I had let them both stay with me about five years before, during a previous “single” period, until they could get on their feet enough to support themselves, and I knew they were ambitious enough to do so.
I felt bad for them that there are few people that we can truly call our friends that will help out in times like these. I understood that it takes knowing a person and their situation to really decide to help, but sometimes you just have step out in faith and hope for the best, and trust that God will sustain you as you attempt to do what Jesus would do. I did that the first time I was there for them.
It felt good to know that I was considered a real friend and that when they were in need, they knew that they could count on me to at least give them what didn't really cost me anything but time and a little effort on my part. It had been five years or so since I last saw them. I was glad to be there again, though I sincerely hoped things could work out so they wouldn't need my help after all.
Either way, I knew God was talking to me through this. I also knew this was probably why I still had my couch. .
It was only after engaging in deep thought (I had plenty of time to think) that I accepted that God wanted me to sit down, be still and shut up for a while – probably for a reason.
I had lessons to learn.
Two days before payday, I had no sugar for my tea, and I was tired of using lemon water enhancer to flavor my tea. The way I saw it, if I wanted lemonaide, I’d have bought lemonaide. But, I drank it as gratefully as I could, remembering the Israelites when they were in the wilderness with nothing but manna to eat for months on end. I did not want to suffer forty days more (let alone forty years), so I made due.
Finally, I remembered that I had some Sweet-n-low in the cabinet, and although I hate the aftertaste of Sweet-n-Low, I knew I would welcome the change of pace. I went to the cabinet to search for it. As I was reaching up to get it, I spotted another small bag of just enough sugar packets that I didn’t know I had to make me a delicious glass of sweet tea.
As I sat there enjoying my sweet tea, I began thinking about what the phrase “Seek ye first” meant. I hated the lemon enhancer, but I thanked God for it, because He gave it to me -- literally. I had found it in an unclaimed bag (along with some candy and oatmeal that I enjoyed) at the bus stop one day at WalMart. It obviously had accidentally been left there by someone who was not returning to get it. I hated Sweet-n-low, too. But, I even welcomed that, because God loves a thankful heart.
Psalms 100:4
“Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.”
When I found the sugar packets, I pictured God smiling at me, shaking a pointing finger at me and saying, “See. Sometimes what you really want is right there. You just have to learn to be content and accepting of what you have, and you will find what you need.”
“Thanks for the lesson,” I humbly thought, as I took another, even more grateful, sip of sweet tea, a beverage that I immensely enjoyed on a daily basis.
Not having a car or a computer was no longer on my mind at that moment; and, I knew I could make it, even with Sweet-n-Low, until payday.
Psalms 27:14
“Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.”
The biggest thing I had missed in my last relationship was my relationship with God. Now, this relationship was renewed and growing; but, I felt that I was not being used to my fullest potential by God. I wanted God to use me to do His work as much as He made me able, and I prayed for that daily.
I didn’t have much money, but for the first time in a long time, I didn’t worry about how I was going to pay my rent. My new job was working out great, and I was saving up for a computer.
A couple of my old friends and classmates that I hooked up with on social media brought me some badly needed clothes, shoes, a bed, a couch, an armoire, and food. I felt like it was Christmas all over again, but this time, the gifts came from God -- and, boy was I grateful!
It’s like He wouldn’t let up. Every day was a new reason to praise Him, and even if it was just an ordinary day, it was reason enough, so I did! Just over a month into my new single life, I found myself happier than I had ever been in my life! I wanted to share it with the world!
I remembered a Bible study I had done with my church, “Experiencing God”. In it I had learned to look for opportunities to serve God, rather than wait for the opportunities to come to me. The study taught that we were to go to where God is already working and join Him in His work.
Luke 6:38
“Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.”
I didn’t have a way to go to church every Sunday, but I sure wished I could. I prayed for God to fix that. In the meanwhile, I looked for the lessons God had to teach me right where I was. I rode a bus to work each day, and anywhere else I wanted to go. My daily commute was about an hour and a half one way. I learned to carry my Bible onto the bus with me to read each day.
My relationship with my mom was growing, also. If I needed to go grocery shopping, or anyplace special, she was happy to take me. Sometimes, she even talked me into going to her house to spend the night with her and visit. They lived about twenty miles away, so this was not something I could do often. I praised God for this relationship, because my ex had isolated me from my family.
One day I told God how much I appreciated Him, and I prayed that He would give me the opportunity to thank Him by making me able to bless someone else with what I have.
On my day off, I had just enough to treat myself to dinner at a local Chinese restaurant, and I thought I would. I was on my way to the restaurant, prepared to spend $10.65 for the usual cost of the buffet. A guy got on the bus, on his way to the plasma lab. He had to borrow the bus fare from someone when he had misplaced his ticket. He had backpacks. I listened as he said he had just come to Texarkana to get away from an emotionally charged divorce, in which he had lost everything.
I ask him if he had a place to stay. He said he hoped the plasma lab could help him with the money for that. I thought, what if he gets there and they can’t help him? I gave him $1.25 for bus fare from the lab, and said ''just in case it dont work out at the lab.'' Then I proceeded to tell him (having had been homeless before and knowing the ropes a little) how to get a warm place to sleep, where he could eat every day, how to get free bus passes, and get day-labor work.
When it came time for him to get off the bus, he thanked me with tears in his eyes and relief on his face. I didn't have much, but information, in his situation, was priceless.
I went to eat. After eating until i thought i would bust, I went to pay my bill. It was $9.30. That was cheaper than the usual $10.65 I was prepared to pay.
It was as if God said, "Hope you enjoyed your meal. Here is $1.25 you gave to that guy, and I even threw in an extra dime for your valuable 10 cents worth you gave to him."
How blessed I felt right then! God used my experience, when I had nothing more to give, to help someone in need. I felt the hand of God on my back as I smiled through my tears at such a small communication with Him! I thanked God for answering my prayer.
I also learned that I did not have to have money to serve God. He doesn't call the qualified. He qualifies the called!
I thanked God each day with every room I cleaned. There is nothing like working in a hospital to make you realize how blessed you truly are.
I bought my computer from a local pawn shop for just $150, which was way cheaper than what I was used to. When I got it home, I figured out that it had belonged to someone who was in the military, which made me feel good about it. I knew it had been taken good care of, even though the camera on it had been disabled.
I bought a mobile router and spent a lot of time online on social media and researching news. I did not own a television, and my radio stayed on Christian talk radio for daily encouragement.
I began to eat lunch at the hospital. It usually filled me up so I wouldn’t be hungry when I came home to Ramen Noodles TM or pancakes. It was clearly time to get some groceries. But, groceries would have to wait until after rent was paid on my next paycheck. In the meanwhile, my budget allowed $25.00 for groceries at home every two weeks, and lunch at the hospital each day.
I began to pray and make out my grocery list.
On the day before payday, during the first week in March, I went to a local fast food place just down the road from my home to use their WiFi. I decided to buy a burger, thinking I had enough on my debit card to do so. When I ran my debit card, I was short the money I needed to buy the burger of my choice. So, I downgraded to a cheaper burger. At this point, a lady in line behind me said,
“Let me buy that burger.”
I immediately said, “No! I can pay for it, really!”
She smiled and said, “Yes. It’s no big deal, really!”
I smiled back and said, “Thank you for being a blessing! And, tomorrow, when I get paid, I will pay it forward.” I felt humbled that someone would do something like that for me when I hadn’t even asked for it. I also felt like God was pushing me to have the excuse to buy a burger for someone else, as if I needed one.
As if to confirm my thoughts, the lady answered with, “Jesus told me to buy you that burger, so you do that.”
I smiled all the way home. God, once again, thought me worthy enough to speak to me.
The next payday came, and after paying rent, groceries, bus fare for the month and cab fare for the day the buses don’t run, I didn’t have enough to renew my internet data. I thanked God for local fast food restaurant that offered free WiFi that day...even though it wasn’t my favorite restaurant. Keeping my mind and heart open to God’s will, I assumed that there must be something there that God wanted me to see, or experience. So, I humbly accepted the circumstances, and waited until my next day off so I could go and enjoy some internet time on the computer.
A few days after that, I was at the restaurant downloading a game on the computer to keep me busy waiting. My neighbor (about 4 doors down) called me. She was moving. Her boyfriend was in jail for awhile, and she had no job and couldn’t pay the rent. So, she decided she needed to stay with her parents for awhile. She wanted to know if I would bring her a burger, and if I wanted any of the furniture that she was willing to give me so she wouldn’t have to haul it to storage.
I obtained two end tables and an entertainment table, some nice blouses, food staples she didn’t want to throw away, a bicycle, some speakers for my computer, and a few things my ex gave to her without my permission. God truly blessed me!
The next week, a girl who worked in the cafeteria at the hospital asked me if I wanted some recliners, a kitchen table and maybe a television. I said sure! If I couldn’t use them, I knew there would be others who could. God was making me look good. He was providing for all my needs and shaping my environment. Only God could have pulled off me being blessed with all new furniture for FREE! However, I kept wondering why? What is it that God has in plan for me that requires me to have new furniture? Or, is God trying to show me that nothing I have is truly mine, and that without Him I would have nothing? I determined to keep my heart and mind open for any opportunity for God to use me.
She never showed up with my new furniture. So, I didn't get rid of my tattered old couch, stained chair and worn kitchen table. Later, I would find out why.
As a parent, I suffered from the guilt of knowing that should I die today, it would place a burden on my children, and I had nothing to leave them as an inheritance – but God. I prayed that God would sustain me, and that He may help me to have just enough, at least, to leave my children by the time I am called home so that they would not be burdened financially by my passing.
As I stated earlier, I had created a list of, “Things I’m asking God For.” On this list, if I needed nail clippers, I asked God for it. Having a car was on that list, also. Big things, small things (even if it was shampoo, because I was running out), I asked God. God, I reasoned, is the Great Provider of all things, and asking him for shampoo was just as significant to Him as asking for a car. Whether I got one or the other, I felt it would be God’s will for me to have them – or I wouldn’t have them at all.
I numbered each thing I asked for since January 1st. The list was sporting about 75 items. Of those items asked for, I was delighted and thankful that only 22 of those items have not been given to me, yet. God is not only the Great Provider, He is also the great Hearer of Prayer and Deliverer.
A man came to my job to offer life and heart-health insurance. I went ahead and signed up for it. It would help alleviate any costs that may incur should anything happen to me. It helped to relieve my guilt of the burden that would be placed on my children should something happen to me. And, for less than $50/month, I felt it would be worth it in the long run. This was an answer to my prayer.
The payday finally came, during the third week of March, that I was able to buy enough groceries to fill my pantry and have money left over. This, too me, was a major victory. My mom took me grocery shopping and then brought me home after work. I felt so secure and relaxed seeing that I was not going to be struggling during the next month.
During this same week, I received a phone call from an old friend who’s family was going through some trials. Her husband was away and unable to help, and she was facing a possible eviction from her home, so I offered to let her stay with me until her husband could return home to help. I had let them both stay with me about five years before, during a previous “single” period, until they could get on their feet enough to support themselves, and I knew they were ambitious enough to do so.
I felt bad for them that there are few people that we can truly call our friends that will help out in times like these. I understood that it takes knowing a person and their situation to really decide to help, but sometimes you just have step out in faith and hope for the best, and trust that God will sustain you as you attempt to do what Jesus would do. I did that the first time I was there for them.
It felt good to know that I was considered a real friend and that when they were in need, they knew that they could count on me to at least give them what didn't really cost me anything but time and a little effort on my part. It had been five years or so since I last saw them. I was glad to be there again, though I sincerely hoped things could work out so they wouldn't need my help after all.
Either way, I knew God was talking to me through this. I also knew this was probably why I still had my couch. .
Funny how your own personal stuff from neighbor came back to you.
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