I began to suffer from a chronic feeling of "blah" in my spirit. All of the things I wanted to do seemed hindered by a lack of money. I felt it pointless to envision anything.
I tried to keep my spirits up so that it would not lead to depression, however, and continued to step one foot in front of the other, praying for guidance and focusing on what I could do from where I was. God had brought me this far. He wasn't going to leave me here. I believed that, and constantly reminded myself of that.
I spent extra time at home working with my chihuahua, Milo, training him to be a mindful puppy. He was happy and giving of his unconditional love for me, and I saw great progress. I thanked God for my puppy, who gave me such great joy and companionship. It broke my heart to even think of what life would be without him.
I struggled to maintain my internet, so I could feel somewhat productive when I wasn't at work, but halfway into the month, I found myself having to go to the restaurant that offered free WiFi to answer emails, yet again. As always, my trusty cell-phone kept me in contact with all of my social media friends and family.
I had learned to be thankful for things I didn't have, or when things didn't work according to plans, because the journey involved in getting those things sometimes afforded opportunities I wouldn't have had otherwise. Many times, I found that because of the struggles or experiences I had along the way, more doors were opened to me that otherwise would have remained shut. So, I opted to take full advantage of any situation I found myself in, and saw my goal of getting a car as a mere opportunity to plan for the future, and to make the most of the day at hand.
As I reflected on this, I realized that even in my "blahness", God had not stepped away from me. He was still working toward good in my life, carefully restructuring the days, hours, minutes, and seconds of my future to work for the best, both for me and for His own glorification. Therefore, even in my "blahness", I determined to praise Him!
I decided it was best to use these "quiet times" to reflect on my life thus far, as well as dig into the Word. I realized that everything that happens in life is training for what is to come. I could choose to be bitter and discontent with right now, or I could embrace it and take full advantage of the moment, living as fully as I am able and making every moment count.
As I continued to long for a way to bless others, my mom and step-dad brought me a big box of assorted packs of trail mix and candy bars that they had obtained from an auction they recently attended. I was delighted.
I made a small bag of goodies and took them to my landlord for his grandchildren. Then, I counted out a few to give my co-workers. I still had lots to snack on after that. I, once again, saw this as a message from God that He would provide for the opportunity to bless others, if I am willing to do the footwork. It kept me smiling, and it kept me looking for opportunities.
Where would I be without God in my life? Bitter? Broken? Hurt? Angry? Discouraged? Discontent? But now I found joy, peace, fulfillment, love, and hope! I thanked God for being who He was, so I could be who He created me to be!
At one point, I became weary of eating processed finger foods for supper (it was cheaper), and started dreaming of eating at my favorite Chinese buffet. I was scheduled off on the weekend. So, jokingly, I opened up social media and asked if anyone wanted to buy me dinner at China King. Though a couple of my friends laughed, there were no takers.
I had just about talked myself into spending the money when my mother called to invite me to her house for the night for a card party with the family. I accepted. God apparently didn’t want me to spend that money, yet. We had sandwiches and chips and homemade dip, brownies and cookies and candies to snack on. It was refreshing to my spirit, and comforting to be with family.
The next day, Mom brought me home and gave me two bags of fish they had frozen (they fish a lot) and a bottle of wine my grandma had left them last Christmas.
“Fish and wine,” I thought. God had not only comforted me, He had said, “Let me buy you dinner.” Of course, I made sure not to overindulge.
Ecclesiastes 9:7
“Go thy way, eat thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart; for God now accepteth thy works”
I tried to keep my spirits up so that it would not lead to depression, however, and continued to step one foot in front of the other, praying for guidance and focusing on what I could do from where I was. God had brought me this far. He wasn't going to leave me here. I believed that, and constantly reminded myself of that.
I spent extra time at home working with my chihuahua, Milo, training him to be a mindful puppy. He was happy and giving of his unconditional love for me, and I saw great progress. I thanked God for my puppy, who gave me such great joy and companionship. It broke my heart to even think of what life would be without him.
I struggled to maintain my internet, so I could feel somewhat productive when I wasn't at work, but halfway into the month, I found myself having to go to the restaurant that offered free WiFi to answer emails, yet again. As always, my trusty cell-phone kept me in contact with all of my social media friends and family.
I had learned to be thankful for things I didn't have, or when things didn't work according to plans, because the journey involved in getting those things sometimes afforded opportunities I wouldn't have had otherwise. Many times, I found that because of the struggles or experiences I had along the way, more doors were opened to me that otherwise would have remained shut. So, I opted to take full advantage of any situation I found myself in, and saw my goal of getting a car as a mere opportunity to plan for the future, and to make the most of the day at hand.
As I reflected on this, I realized that even in my "blahness", God had not stepped away from me. He was still working toward good in my life, carefully restructuring the days, hours, minutes, and seconds of my future to work for the best, both for me and for His own glorification. Therefore, even in my "blahness", I determined to praise Him!
I decided it was best to use these "quiet times" to reflect on my life thus far, as well as dig into the Word. I realized that everything that happens in life is training for what is to come. I could choose to be bitter and discontent with right now, or I could embrace it and take full advantage of the moment, living as fully as I am able and making every moment count.
As I continued to long for a way to bless others, my mom and step-dad brought me a big box of assorted packs of trail mix and candy bars that they had obtained from an auction they recently attended. I was delighted.
I made a small bag of goodies and took them to my landlord for his grandchildren. Then, I counted out a few to give my co-workers. I still had lots to snack on after that. I, once again, saw this as a message from God that He would provide for the opportunity to bless others, if I am willing to do the footwork. It kept me smiling, and it kept me looking for opportunities.
Where would I be without God in my life? Bitter? Broken? Hurt? Angry? Discouraged? Discontent? But now I found joy, peace, fulfillment, love, and hope! I thanked God for being who He was, so I could be who He created me to be!
At one point, I became weary of eating processed finger foods for supper (it was cheaper), and started dreaming of eating at my favorite Chinese buffet. I was scheduled off on the weekend. So, jokingly, I opened up social media and asked if anyone wanted to buy me dinner at China King. Though a couple of my friends laughed, there were no takers.
I had just about talked myself into spending the money when my mother called to invite me to her house for the night for a card party with the family. I accepted. God apparently didn’t want me to spend that money, yet. We had sandwiches and chips and homemade dip, brownies and cookies and candies to snack on. It was refreshing to my spirit, and comforting to be with family.
The next day, Mom brought me home and gave me two bags of fish they had frozen (they fish a lot) and a bottle of wine my grandma had left them last Christmas.
“Fish and wine,” I thought. God had not only comforted me, He had said, “Let me buy you dinner.” Of course, I made sure not to overindulge.
Ecclesiastes 9:7
“Go thy way, eat thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart; for God now accepteth thy works”
No comments:
Post a Comment