At the end of March, in 2018, a year after I started my job at Denny’s, I had money in my savings account, and I had recovered from the beating my body had endured, for the most part, from my work at the hospital. I was not happy with my new job, however. Some of the people I worked with were too negative, over-emotional, and did not seem to care about doing their job so that I was beginning to feel ignored and as if I was doing more than my fair share at times, and did not have the tools to even do my job well at other times. Over all, I was just not happy.
So, not being one to deal with stress well, and opting not to if I could, and choosing to be happier, I chose to quit my job and look for something better.
I had two months to search for a job. I decided I would take a week off for vacation time, then I would make my job to be to find a job. I relaxed the first week at home, then, on Monday, I decided to go fill out applications.
A friend of mine that I grew up with and graduated with in high school had been trying to get me to put my application in at a state-run prison about 30 miles away. I decided to do that, finally.
In order to go to work there, I would have to go through a pre-service training academy, much like those that the local police had to go through. I had to be able to pass a work-history check, a background check, and a drug test. I knew I could do all of that. So, I applied.
I was accepted into the academy. Then, I became anxious because I was almost fifty years old. I was also a bit overweight, and I couldn’t see myself running long distances or doing sit-ups and push-ups. I practiced and did a lot of walking before my physical agility test I had to pass before I could enter the academy.
There were 38 people in my class with me. I made the lowest score, but I praised God, because I made it! I was now an employee-in-training for the Texas Department of Criminal Justice.
There was a lot of classroom time. We learned to have each other’s backs, and how to always stay alert and be ready for anything that could happen. It was a dangerous job. We would be working with some hardened criminals: some murderers, drug dealers, gang members, thieves and the like. There were some monsters behind those bars. Some of our fellow corrections officers had been killed in the line of duty. So we had to be vigilant.
We also signed up for insurance. I got it all: Life, health, dental, vision, long and short-term disability, and retirement. The benefits offered were outstanding! And, so was the pay. At least, it was to me. It would be twice what I made at the hospital.
My academy "pre-service training" opened my eyes to a lot. I listened to stories from current employees there about experiences that they had had. I listened to stories about things I might have to go through. I listen to stories about what people did, right and wrong, and how they acted and reacted in a crisis.
After taking a tour of the facility with my fellow trainees, I came away humbled. The people I would be working with, when my training was complete, were nothing less than heroes. I stated to a fellow trainee, very humbly, that I only hoped that when I have to face such a crisis, I could be as brave and courageous as I had heard about.
As my late stepmother once said, and my fellow trainee pointed out in response, "You aren't going to know how you are going to act until you get there. No one can."
She was right. It's easy to want to be a hero. It's a whole other thing when the opportunity presents itself. Anyone can talk the talk -- but it's the walk that matters. I had already learned that in my Christian walk with Jesus.
We took a tour of the facility. At one point, we went through a recreation yard. There were about fifty inmates on each side of us as we walked through, playing basketball, walking around, running, exercising, hanging out. I felt really uneasy. There were only 18 of us. And, usually, there are a whole lot less who watch over them as they recreate. What if they decided to riot, or attack?
After my tour, I came home and did some really hard thinking and praying about what I was getting myself into with my new job. Do I really want to put my life on the line every single day? I mean, that is what I would be doing -- flipping a coin every day to see if I got to come home safe and whole at the end of the day. Coming home was an important goal each day, as I had been taught.
No wonder the benefits were so great.
I prayed.
Was I really fit for this? Could I do the job if faced with a situation I have never been in that requires defending myself or a co-worker or another inmate?
Clearly, I needed work.
After thinking and praying about this, I asked myself:
Is this why God had put me here? Is this something I needed to do for some greater job He had for me in the future? And, if so, what do I need to do in order to do it right?
God spoke to me in my heart and said that I should not fear, He would be with me.
Isaiah 41:13
“For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.”
I didn’t have kids to come home to, or a family at home that was depending on me the way many of my co-workers did. I could afford to put all I had into my job. If I died tomorrow in the line of duty, my children were grown and could fend for themselves. Besides, the benefits were there to assist them.
And, I really did need to get into better shape.
I watched some training videos. I decided to start practicing at home -- and do more situps and push ups each day. Maybe this job was because God didn't like how I looked and wanted me to lose weight. Maybe I was fixing to have my house broke into and I needed to defend myself and my property. Maybe there was an inmate who needed to be counseled in the Word. Maybe there was a co-worker who needed my support.
I came to the conclusion that I was there for a reason. I needed to have the courage to stay. I needed to buck up and move forward and do what I was called to do, no matter what the cost.
That's what Christians are called to do every day. I guess God was putting me to the test.
I intended to pass.
It actually took courage just to walk through the doors of a prison each morning.
I prayed that I had sufficient courage when I needed it.
The next morning, I held my head high, and with a new perspective and motivation, I walked through the doors confident that I could do it, and even more confident that I was where God had called me to be.
So, not being one to deal with stress well, and opting not to if I could, and choosing to be happier, I chose to quit my job and look for something better.
I had two months to search for a job. I decided I would take a week off for vacation time, then I would make my job to be to find a job. I relaxed the first week at home, then, on Monday, I decided to go fill out applications.
A friend of mine that I grew up with and graduated with in high school had been trying to get me to put my application in at a state-run prison about 30 miles away. I decided to do that, finally.
In order to go to work there, I would have to go through a pre-service training academy, much like those that the local police had to go through. I had to be able to pass a work-history check, a background check, and a drug test. I knew I could do all of that. So, I applied.
I was accepted into the academy. Then, I became anxious because I was almost fifty years old. I was also a bit overweight, and I couldn’t see myself running long distances or doing sit-ups and push-ups. I practiced and did a lot of walking before my physical agility test I had to pass before I could enter the academy.
There were 38 people in my class with me. I made the lowest score, but I praised God, because I made it! I was now an employee-in-training for the Texas Department of Criminal Justice.
There was a lot of classroom time. We learned to have each other’s backs, and how to always stay alert and be ready for anything that could happen. It was a dangerous job. We would be working with some hardened criminals: some murderers, drug dealers, gang members, thieves and the like. There were some monsters behind those bars. Some of our fellow corrections officers had been killed in the line of duty. So we had to be vigilant.
We also signed up for insurance. I got it all: Life, health, dental, vision, long and short-term disability, and retirement. The benefits offered were outstanding! And, so was the pay. At least, it was to me. It would be twice what I made at the hospital.
My academy "pre-service training" opened my eyes to a lot. I listened to stories from current employees there about experiences that they had had. I listened to stories about things I might have to go through. I listen to stories about what people did, right and wrong, and how they acted and reacted in a crisis.
After taking a tour of the facility with my fellow trainees, I came away humbled. The people I would be working with, when my training was complete, were nothing less than heroes. I stated to a fellow trainee, very humbly, that I only hoped that when I have to face such a crisis, I could be as brave and courageous as I had heard about.
As my late stepmother once said, and my fellow trainee pointed out in response, "You aren't going to know how you are going to act until you get there. No one can."
She was right. It's easy to want to be a hero. It's a whole other thing when the opportunity presents itself. Anyone can talk the talk -- but it's the walk that matters. I had already learned that in my Christian walk with Jesus.
We took a tour of the facility. At one point, we went through a recreation yard. There were about fifty inmates on each side of us as we walked through, playing basketball, walking around, running, exercising, hanging out. I felt really uneasy. There were only 18 of us. And, usually, there are a whole lot less who watch over them as they recreate. What if they decided to riot, or attack?
After my tour, I came home and did some really hard thinking and praying about what I was getting myself into with my new job. Do I really want to put my life on the line every single day? I mean, that is what I would be doing -- flipping a coin every day to see if I got to come home safe and whole at the end of the day. Coming home was an important goal each day, as I had been taught.
No wonder the benefits were so great.
I prayed.
Was I really fit for this? Could I do the job if faced with a situation I have never been in that requires defending myself or a co-worker or another inmate?
Clearly, I needed work.
After thinking and praying about this, I asked myself:
Is this why God had put me here? Is this something I needed to do for some greater job He had for me in the future? And, if so, what do I need to do in order to do it right?
God spoke to me in my heart and said that I should not fear, He would be with me.
“For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.”
I didn’t have kids to come home to, or a family at home that was depending on me the way many of my co-workers did. I could afford to put all I had into my job. If I died tomorrow in the line of duty, my children were grown and could fend for themselves. Besides, the benefits were there to assist them.
And, I really did need to get into better shape.
I watched some training videos. I decided to start practicing at home -- and do more situps and push ups each day. Maybe this job was because God didn't like how I looked and wanted me to lose weight. Maybe I was fixing to have my house broke into and I needed to defend myself and my property. Maybe there was an inmate who needed to be counseled in the Word. Maybe there was a co-worker who needed my support.
I came to the conclusion that I was there for a reason. I needed to have the courage to stay. I needed to buck up and move forward and do what I was called to do, no matter what the cost.
That's what Christians are called to do every day. I guess God was putting me to the test.
I intended to pass.
It actually took courage just to walk through the doors of a prison each morning.
I prayed that I had sufficient courage when I needed it.
The next morning, I held my head high, and with a new perspective and motivation, I walked through the doors confident that I could do it, and even more confident that I was where God had called me to be.
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