I was slowly falling behind on my bills, but at least I could pay something.
At this point, I was paying $3,500 a month in bills, and I paid them all on-line so I wouldn't have to go back to Texarkana.
A big water blister formed on my leg, just before I had left Texarkana around the first of December. It would not heal. It drained constantly. My legs were swollen.
I had already dropped my insurance, because I couldn't afford it.
On February 3, 2024, my aunt called me and told me to come back to Texarkana. My dad, apparently, had left me some money. She wanted to give it to me.
I left the Dallas area and drove all the way back to Texarkana in my Lyft rental vehicle. My car was still in storage in Bedford, Texas.
I picked up a check for $25,000.
I was beyond thankful!
I thanked God all the way to the Emergency Room. I figured I should get my legs looked at. I hadn't even cashed the check yet.
The Hospital doctors ran tests and took exrays, then informed me, "Ms. Ponder, you have congestive heart failure!"
They told me to make an appointment with my doctor, and gave me Ferosimide and Potassium for the swelling. I would have to take it, or risk dying. So, I made an appointment with my doctor, and went back to Bedford to get my car out of storage.
So, now, there was REALLY nothing I could do but drive for a living.
I messaged my step dad to let him know that all was forgiven. My dad was taking care of me from beyond the grave, but that all of the problems that occurred after they didn't help me led to me getting congestive heart failure. They had effectively murdered me, but I loved them, anyway.
Ten minutes later, my cousin from Grand Prairie called me and informed me that she was so sorry, she had just been informed that my mother had passed away that morning.
I called my sister, who immediately condemned me for my message to my step dad, which he had apparently got while he was still at the hospital with my mother.
I decided, at that point, it was best not to attend the funeral, due to my current health situation. I didn't need any more stress than I already had, and I would not survive being someone's emotional punching bag. I would go to the grave later, in a few weeks, alone, to pay my respects.
When I got to Bedford, I gave up my Lyft vehicle. I went to get my car out of storage, and I felt HORRIBLE. I was so fatigued, I thought I was going to pass out. So, I called my cousin, who lived in Grand Prairie, and had offered me her extra bedroom if I needed it.
I stayed with her for a week, until I got strong enough to go back to Texarkana.
When I got back to Texarkana, I cashed the check and rented a motel room.
At this point, I just needed a break. I was feeling every emotion under the sun and I needed to recuperate from all the stress.
I got caught up on all my bills and payed them a month ahead of time. Then, I got out my list, and started paying everyone back who helped me.
I went to my mechanic and gave him a generous $1,000 gift. I thought he was going to cry. Tears came to his eyes as he said, "Ms. Ponder, I don't care if it is 2:00 in the morning, and you are 200 miles away, if you need me, you call me, do you hear me?"
Then, I went to the doctor and got a prescription for 90 days of the medication I needed.
When all was said and done, I had about $15,000 left to spend.
I sat in my room, wondering what I was going to do.
I was going through Facebook one morning, and a memory post popped up, reminding me of what I had posted one year ago, to that date.
It was The Dream.
God had told me to give up everything I owned. (I had done that, because I had no choice). He told me to get a shipping post mailbox. (I had one, because I had to have a way to get my mail). He told me to get a storage unit for what I absolutely needed. (I had one). He told me to move into my car (I had done that) and to travel and tell people the story He was about to give me at that time.
It was at that point that all of the emotions I had been feeling drained away. I realized I was exactly where God wanted me to be.
When I didn't do what God wanted me to do right away, He orchestrated the events to put me there, whether I wanted to be there or not.
So, I re-posted the dream, and added:
"Hey, ya'll remember when I posted this last year?
"LOOK at all the negative responses ya'll gave me.
"At this point in my life, I don't know if I am Job, or I am Jonah. I just know that, right now, I am EXACTLY where God wants me to be.
"I have a little bit of money now. I can use it to try to get back a lot of what I have lost over the past year, and probably end up back right where I am with NOTHING left. OR, I can do what God told me to do to begin with and see where that takes me.
"I think I am going to buy another car and go see every city in the state of Texas."
On March 15, 2024, I went to Stone Motors on New Boston road and found a car that I wanted. I took it to my mechanic, and had him look at it before I bought it. He added up the cost of getting it Uber ready, and told me it was a good buy.
So, I spent $4,700 to buy a Chevrolet HHR.
Then, I took it to the shop, had spark plugs, auto-pilot light, control arms, tie rods, cabin air filter, and tire pressure monitoring system and brake pads and front brakes put on it. And I got new tires. That cost me another $4500. But, it was MY car. It was paid for. I didn't owe a payment on it.
I got the insurance on it, then I took the Ford Focus back to the dealership and told them I was done with that car.
The bank said, "Ms. Ponder, you owe us $15,000."
I said, "In the fifteen months I have had this car, I have spent nearly $35,000 keeping it on the road. You aren't getting another dime from me. You can have it back."
They said, "It's gonna hurt your credit!"
I said, "I have fifteen loans, credit cards and revolving loans due to this car. I can reborrow off of them as needed. In seven years, my credit will be okay again. You aren't getting another DIME from me!"
Then, I went back to the motel room to prepare and pray.
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