Chapter 1: I'm Single Again. Now What?

It was December 31, 2013.

The last time I found myself single, I took inventory of my life. I came to the determination that the reason I was single was because I had not done things God’s way. If everything had been done the way God said to do it in His Word, my marriages wouldn’t have failed. I would have never ended up in an abusive relationship, living in sin for 5 years. My children wouldn't be living in two different places 500 miles away from me with two different fathers whom I had never been married to. I wouldn’t have had any of the bad memories I had throughout my life.

I wasn’t raised with Godly role models to learn from. Everything I learned about God, I learned in church as a child -- a church I attended because it was close by, and my grandma had taken me to church with her when I visited her, and I was curious. My parents did not attend with me, but did not stop me from going.

If only I hadn't “settled” for less than what I knew the Father wanted for me.

It was time I did things God’s Way. So, I set about reading the Bible and studying His Word, once again.

I came to the conclusion that I was correct. The reason I had been in such miserable relationships was because I was in it for my own means, and not for God’s. I sinned. I made a lot of mistakes in my relationships that I wouldn’t have made if God had been my focus.

Both Einstein and Ben Franklin have been quoted as saying that “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results”. As I looked back on my life up to that point, I wondered if I was, in fact, insane. Now, it was time to change all that if I planned to change the direction in which my life had been going, not to mention put some sane stability back into my life.

I read the Book of Nehemiah in the Bible. In the 13th Chapter of Nehemiah, Nehemiah is tasked with setting things right before the Lord. The Temple that had been violated, the Sabbath that had not been kept, and the Laws of Purity that had been ignored had to all be cleansed and reinstated. Once that was taken taken care of, God, who had withheld His blessings was ready to bless Israel once again.

My life had been broken, my body was violated. All of the rules I had learned as a child had been ignored. Everything my Bible had taught me was null because I had ignored the laws that God gave me.

It was time to set things right so God could bless me as He said He would in His Word. It was time to ask Jesus to change me from the inside out.

“God”, I prayed, “I am far from perfect, but I want to be. I want You to look at me and be able to say, That’s My daughter! So, Lord, I need Your guidance. Will You show me how? Will You forgive me for all of my mistakes? I’m ready for a good change. For YOU, Lord, and Your glory. In Your Name, Amen!”

And, I rededicated my life to Him that day.

Immediately, I set about cleaning my apartment. If I couldn’t use it, or if it wasn’t mine, or if I couldn’t wear it or didn’t need it, it was either boxed up to be given to my ex, whom I’d spent the last five years living in sin with, or thrown into the trash. It was a physical manifestation of what I wanted spiritually in my life.

When I was done, my apartment was completely spotless and organized. I slept better at night. I was ready for whatever was to come.

In my quiet time as I listened for God to speak, it was as if I heard Him whisper, “Come out, and be ye separate.” I looked up the phrase and found it in 2 Corinthians 6, and His message to me that day fit.

2 Corinthians

Chapter 6

14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?

16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.

17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you,

18 And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.


I felt as if God had wrapped His arms around me and said,

“Okay, let’s do this. You are MINE. I love you, very much. NOTHING can change that. Now, let me show you what we can do together!”

When I went to sleep, I did not feel lonely. I did not cry myself to sleep. I was at peace. It was a blissful comfort, and I smiled as I drifted off for the night. I was free to be who God intended for me to be, and now, more than ever, I intended to be that person.